Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
