everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
