at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize