I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
