I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
