Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
