WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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