i permit you to call me
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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