i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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