I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
tequila makes me forget i have legs
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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