Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
