Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
