my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize