I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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