just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
