So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
