I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
