ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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