Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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