this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
