I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
