Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
