apparently the secret to your success is patron
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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