i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The Olympian is in my bed
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
