All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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