how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
