If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
