How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
