she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
