Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
