Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
