He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
