i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
