I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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