am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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