Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
