You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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