Joe is yelling at the trees again.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
