So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
