My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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