I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize