when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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