That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
