I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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