So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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