the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
