walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
its not stalking. its research.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
