just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
