she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
