Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize