operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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