I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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