let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
