Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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