you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
