The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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