I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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