I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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