you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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