she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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