Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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