I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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