one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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