If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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