Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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