It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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