First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
