haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
