i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize